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The Vampire Diaries 5x03 [Oct. 18th, 2013|10:46 am]
alkja
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Well, well, well, allow me to enjoy the big helping of schadenfreude that the TVD writers have so considerately served me.

I spent the hiatus after the Doppelganger!Stefan reveal dreading it portended some kind of mystical bond between Stefan and Elena that would make them Soulmates or something, which was about the last thing I could want.

Now, however, it turns out that there is a mystical bond between Stefan and Elena, but it’s a bond shared by umpteen doppelgangers across the millennia, which makes it totally ok and in fact kind of great.

Why?

Because Stefan and Caroline and hordes of Stelena shippers spent last year bitching and moaning that of course Elena only was with Damon because of the Sire Bond, she would never want him otherwise, she was pulled to him against her will, supernatural forces were manipulating her and if only the Sire Bond could be broken she’d return to her correct Team Stefan Original Factory Settings.

Now it turns out that those Team Stefan Original Factory Settings only existed because of… drumroll… a mystical Doppelganger Bond that is not even as rare and dependant on pre-existing feelings like a Sire Bond, but something that has happened to dozens of doppelgangers before them simply because of their doppelganger natures.

Basically "The Epic Love of Stefan & Elena" is actually "Silas!Doppelganger #275 & Amara!Doppelganger #275: The Umpteen Remake".

“It [was] always going to be Stefan” both for Katherine and Elena not because Stefan is OMGSoDreamy!11 but because as doppelgangers of Amara they were freaking programmed to be drawn to any and all doppelgangers of Silas they encountered.

Otherwise said, I’m pretty sure Stelena cannot possibly be endgame, for the same reason everyone knew that Elena was going to choose Damon in the season 4 finale: everyone was talking about how she would choose Stefan, so what would be the point of that happening? Same here: if Destiny pulls in a direction, where is the drama in making Destiny win?

What is more compelling: watching a couple be together Because Destiny Says So or a couple being together despite Destiny?

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The Originals 1x01 [Oct. 5th, 2013|11:26 am]
alkja
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God, this shit is just so fucking dumb. I can see the THIS IS HAPPENING BECAUSE WE THE WRITERS DECIDE SO neon red writing on the wall. TBTP decided they just had to have a spinoff and I completely approve of getting rid of the boring Originals from the main show, but as premises for a show go this is nonsensical.

Don't get me wrong, Elijah was amazing all throughout the episode and I'm pretty sure sooner or later he and Klaus are going to find themselves back into another love triangle because he's got more chemistry going on just talking to Hayley than Klaus did while banging her.

The problem for me is that what happened had zero sense in the way of internal logic. Every show needs a premise to work, but this is just painfully, stupidly contrieved.

Sure, Elijah is baby and family crazy, but Klaus definitely isn't, especially after even his supposedly loyal hybrids broke the sire bond and tried to kill him. Klaus, in fact, could not care less about Elijah's rosy-tinted dreams.

In a remotely logical world, what would have happened was Klaus responding to the witches’ blackmail scheme by snapping Hayley’s neck himself, shrugging that now that he knows he can always find another werewolf girl to fuck should he feel the need of an heir, and then proceeding to slaughter the entirety of the witches for their daring, followed by slaughtering Marcel and the whole of his gang laughing maniacally all along while Elijah blubbers over the magical baby that wasn’t.

By next day, Klaus sits as king of New Orleans pretty as you please and Elijah is back in a box.

Frankly, as shitty as it is to dessicate your family, the daggering of Elijah was the only moment Klaus seemed remotely like himself or a plausible villain.

I doubt I will keep watching if this level of stupidity is what’s in store for me.

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(no subject) [Aug. 31st, 2013|10:22 pm]
alkja
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[Current Mood |as bad as it gets]

Body issues and family issuesCollapse )
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I'm so smooth [Jun. 2nd, 2013|07:50 pm]
alkja
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[Current Mood |ditzyditzy]

That awkward moment when you bump into someone you hadn't seen in years... while you're discussing a subject better suited to a six year old.
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Wow, never seen that one before... [May. 24th, 2013|06:09 pm]
alkja
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[Current Mood |exasperated]

Oh, Elementary...

(Spoilers for the finale)Collapse )
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Jack The Giant Slayer review [Apr. 15th, 2013|02:58 pm]
alkja
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So, I finally got to see Jack The Giant Slayer.

Fairytale adaptations can be done wellCollapse )

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Smallville Season 11 #39 [Mar. 29th, 2013|01:39 pm]
alkja
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Ok, either I'm missing some fact from DC comics canon (past or present) or the new Big Bads lurking at the horizon are the Auditors Of Reality.

No, really: "The Monitors mantain order. Existence is chaos. And so all existence shall be brought to an end." Changed name and glowy red eyes, but those are the Auditors.

Maybe DEATH should pay the Luthor siblings a visit and sort out that entangled souls/counsciousnesses business.
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(no subject) [Dec. 6th, 2012|04:59 pm]
alkja
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Just finished reading The Song Of Achilles by Madeline Miller.

Sobbing forever.

It's not that I didn't know how the story would go, but dammit that was intense.

To quote its Tear Jerker entry on Tv Tropes: "It's one of those stories that you'll read once for the beautiful writing and characterisation, but never again because the ending will rip out your heart and paint pictures with your aeortal blood."

Except you will eventually read it again (possibly in the privacy of your own room, not on a train like me, where you traumatize people by dissolving in a puddle of tears) because it's just that good and completely worth the renewed heartbreak.
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Nightwing #0; or: why DC is on my last nerve [Sep. 20th, 2012|03:15 pm]
alkja
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[Current Mood |bitchybitchy]

At this point, I think we have enough evidence to say it: DC fucked up with the reboot. Not just because no one asked for it, or because for some titles it’s not really a back-to-zero reboot but a half-hearted meddling with the existing canon, or because it actually didn’t simplify things. It’s not even the gross and disrespectful treatment of women.

It’s a lot because they didn’t think it through. It’s because it’s clear they’re making things up on the go. It’s because there are no solid bases for authors to work with and to draw from. That’s a big problem and a major sign of how much of a fuck they don’t give about their readership outside of their money, but it’s not even the worse.

The biggest problem, for me, it’s that the DCnU is plenty flashy, but at its core there is an emotional dearth, a soullessness you’re generally likely to find in the eyes of porn stars: they may moan and writhe and cry out “oh yes, please, god, yes!” all they want, but in their eyes you can see they’re really thinking about the lights and that cramp in their leg and the bills to pay.

 


Really, is nothing sacred?Collapse )
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Snow day! [Feb. 1st, 2012|11:27 am]
alkja
[Current Location |ninth cloud]
[Current Mood |joyful]
[Current Music |Let it snow]

Snow, snow, snow! It's snowing pretty snow!

Oh, so very, very pretty snow. Is there anything more beautiful than snow-covered trees?

And I get to enjoy the show snuggled under my blankets, with the curtains open, a steaming mug of mint tea beside me and the promise of hot white chocolate this afternoon.

Life is good right now.
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